Here I Come​/​There I Go

by why why

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I made this before going off to college. I wrote all of these during my high school years, so some lyrics wound up being inevitably better/worse than others, and I'm by no means a professional, so it's not all perfect, of course. But I'm proud of it, so I wanted to share it with anyone who wants to listen.


released August 8, 2015

Music and lyrics by Gabriel Siewert, except for "eponymous track", the lyrics for which were written by Sydney Rose.

Production: The Record Shop, in Nashville, TN for all parts of Hidden Life, and amateur recording for the rest done by A. Gordon Fry IV



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why why Tampa, Florida

why why is the project of professional nobody Gabriel Siewert. He operates under this moniker to release his shitty songs. No other moniker currently exists.

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Track Name: Intro/Full Disclosure
I'm not who I say I am.
Track Name: Thinking About the Future Means You Want Something
I lie awake at night, searching through my mind
finding a way to be known
and I don't even know what I'm looking for
I just don't wanna feel so alone

I have tried for days, a thousand different ways
to feel that there's something inside
now I think it's gone, never had it all along
lied to myself the whole time

We know you're here, but what are you here for?
we know you're wanting, but what do you want, me?
no, just the idea of me.

I need to escape, the world, so mundane
try to feel something new
emotions are dulled, buried in my soul
seems there's nothing I can do

We know you're in there, but what are you in for?
trapped inside, can't decide if you want me
or just the idea of me.

There is no point in living life anonymously
when I have so much to offer the(e)
only thing I need you to do for me is
take me, make me, wake me from my-

Track Name: my mind is
i bite my nails to the quick
just to tell myself that it's okay
i chew through my cheeks
just to cope today
i move southward along a body
mangled made of flesh and bone
i didn't know, we didn't know, you didn't know
you never took me seriously
so i took myself down
tore into every unbroken thing
that made me good and whole
and still you let me drown,
yes you stole what was left
of my unraveled sanity
that quickly crumbled to an
addled mess, at best
calamity came next
slowing to a crawl
time neglected all my vain attempts to build this wall
i'm overwrought, overwrought and under-sought
oh, cosmonaut
please tell me that you have not forgot

have you ever felt like this?

i treasure my loneliness
but this has just gone too far
i didn't ask for this emptiness
i simply wanted room to hide my scars
i had everything i needed in life except humility
i didn't mean to shut you out
with such repetitive rapidity i didn't need-
i always wondered how i'd feel about this in the end
if i'd look back and say "it was just a phase"
or if i'd pour another gin
i don't know why i
try so incredibly hard to
come up with rhythms and rhymes that
i like and i try out of spite
without ever knowing what the words do
what's the use, this self-deprecation?
i'm a nation of one, population zero
'cause i'm not here, oh
i just want to be done
sometimes when i lie awake at night
staring blankly at the ceiling i consider
peeling off all this unknown flesh,
this anonymous skin, that has destroyed me from within
but in it i can't help but remember
all these poems that i've wrought,
where i think i'm home
but i'm not
Track Name: eponymous track
really i'm very full of things
passion without drive, aspirations unaccompanied
by skill or capability
more than anything the exuberance and thrill i feel at the thought of something different, something grand, something crisp against the mediocrity
i have settled for out of fear, leads to little more than utter exhaustion
and i know that something is not set right but soon i will be witness to my
own descent, my own shatter,
a glass worn by aged use tapped so slightly, yet enough to cause an end

stay with me please, while i alter my perception
so i can learn my well-earned lesson and make use of my spine
stay with me please, but i beg don't lessen this blow
all i need you to know is that i'll be fine; soon, guys, i'll be fine

i guess it all depends on time
and my willingness to concede
that truly i'm far, far away from where i couldn't recognize
that who i am should be who i am,
my burden born, my self not only tolerated with well-informed minds
but loved and lifted by those i've hidden from out of fear
that someday it'll be too much
and i know something is not set right
but soon i will be witness to my own vulnerability, my loss of pride
a child with arms extended, in trust and in hopes that this will not
be my end
Track Name: Gordon
Say, I'm gonna miss this
I mean,
stay; I'm gonna miss you

And I'm not sad that this all will end
as much as I am sad that in ten years' time
I might not even recognize you

We'll go our separate ways
see each other on holidays
or maybe not

You're my best friend
and now you're gonna leave
moving up north to New York City
but not the city,
just the state

And I know it's for the best
but then again, what do I know?
and where's all this gonna go?
Track Name: Ends Here.
If you must know
I'm not advice that was meant to be followed
if you must know
I'm the pill you'll find the hardest to swallow

Tear into me
or worse still, tear out the parts that matter most
tell me a story to make me whole
but every story is a ghost

we don't think too much of this.

This isn't a call
this isn't a plea for recognition
take down every wall
let us make our own decisions

Maybe just giving up is inevitable
sorry to disappoint; we need a miracle

How can you breathe
when your head has just barely breached the surface?
how do I know you're listening
or if my life has a purpose?

I have to admit
the story's over and my chest feels kind of hollow
if you must know
I'm not advice that was ever meant to be followed

Maybe we think too much of this.

And I'm lonely just sitting here
waiting for the fall
'cause I know you think
I don't mean anything at all